“No farewell words were spoken,

No time to say goodbye,

You were gone before we knew it,

And only God knows why.”

I miss you Murf.

 I’ve been trying for over a year to find the words, which still won’t come, to try to explain how I feel.  I’ve decided that the three following letters, written in the emotion of the moments, to the “extended rescue list” say it best.


From:  " Dee " <gr8dane@i...>
Date:  Wed Feb 28, 2001  2:17 pm
Subject:  Tomorrow


Tomorrow, Murf-E-Saurus turns 6.

I will be outside playing in the mud, and not worry about how much comes in the house.

I will be making homemade cookies, and taking them out to a picnic.

I will be getting a stick, and throwing it over and over.

I will be cuddling on the couch when we get too cold to play outside any longer.

I will be trying to say "thank you" for all the times he's been there, for getting me thru the times I didn't want to go on any longer, and for sharing the joy when little things go right.

I will be trying to say "thank you" for putting up with my rescue efforts, when all he wants is to be alone with me.

I will be trying to say "thank you" for helping me train all the dogs that have come thru here, and all the dogs that will.

I will be trying to make him understand that I rescue in honor of HIM.

I will be trying to say "thank you" for showing me what a true friend is.

I will be trying to say "I'm sorry" for all the times he's had to wait for "one more e-mail" for breakfast, or supper.

I will be trying to say "I'm sorry" that I was ignorant, and trusted his life to an invisible fence, for 3 weeks of being carried out to potty, turned every 2 hours, and the pain he still suffers, with dignity and grace, because of my mistake.

I will be trying to repay all the long hours lying by my computer desk, waiting for me to be done.

I will be trying to repay the time he had to nurse me through a broken heart, confused, he did his best.  He kept me alive. 

I will try.  I won't succeed, but I want to make an effort.

Tomorrow, I won't be on the computer, or making phone calls, or cleaning the house.

Tomorrow, I will be busy.  I have a date with an angel :-)



From:  "Dee Shaffer" <gr8dane@i...>
Date:  Fri Aug 3, 2001  10:41 pm
Subject:  Help me

My whole world just collapsed around me.
My Murf-E-Saurus died tonight.
I am dropping his body off on the way to pick up Cleo tomorrow.
That's all I can write now.


From:  "Dee Shaffer" <gr8dane@i...>
Date:  Sun Aug 5, 2001  3:34 pm
Subject:  Thank you


Chuck and I thank everyone for their e-cards, e-mails, and phone calls, and hope you understand why they haven't been answered. We can't speak without breaking into tears, it'll take some time, I'm sure.
For those of you that asked;
We have a big, beautiful pink Rose-of-Sharon in the backyard, Murf loved to back up to the truck and scratch his butt, the flowers would fall over his shoulders, he looked like a winning racehorse. (I was always gonna get a picture of that, but there was time, I'd do it tomorrow.)
Fri afternoon, Chuck called about 7:15 , his schedule had calmed a little, and he only had to put in 12 hours, he was on his way home. Great! I took the puppy out to pee, Murf and a little boy from next door were teasing each other over the fence, running back and forth, I laughed at them, and brought the puppy in, and started supper. After we ate, I went to feed the dogs, I banged on the window with his food dish to call him in, he didn't come, (He always came to eat) I went out to get him, he was lying under the rose of Sharon, not breathing, no pulse, I called Chuck and we did CPR for about 30 minutes, until we were too tired to do it anymore.
He was fine 30 minutes ago, playing and running, he had a clear airway, he couldn't have choked on anything, and anyway, the neighbors know to ask before they give them treats.
Torsion would have had him in agony, the grass where he lay was undisturbed.
The general consensus among those I've asked about it is a blood clot was thrown to his heart or brain.
Thinking back, if I could have sat and ordered his death, It would have been just like that. Playing, running, teasing a child (he LOVED that) and just peacefully lying down under his favorite tree. He was 6 1/2, he would have been 7 in March. I had hoped for so much longer with him. I guess he gave his love so fiercely, so completely, he just ran out of time.
The only thing I could have wished better was he not be alone. It bothers me still. But he knew how we loved him, still do, always will.
Thanks again for your support, I hope to be able to at least function soon, until then, thanks for your patience.